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Is there anything straighter than a thick mustache?

it’s totally straight if my hands don’t touch your big cock

Me: Bro are you sure this is not gay? Bro: yeah yeah, just... with this gfs purple clothes its tottally not gay

Dressed like this and cheering my bud up after his breakup doesn’t make it gay!

Its ok if I just do what you gf won't i just didn't know I'd like it so much

It's not gay to let your step brother teach you things

Its not gay if 1) I'm hungry and protein deficient and 2) I'm dressed like a girl